Pathfinder by Gun Brooke

Author:Gun Brooke [Brooke, Gun]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781626394650
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2015-09-29T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

**Adina Vantressa**

**Commander and Chief Engineer**

**Day 126**

**Exodus Operation**

**Personal log**

For a long time, my life seemed to consist of work and nothing else. Why I find this fact special enough to start my personal log of the day with speaks volumes. Not to mention keeping a personal log at all. For many years, I’ve made work my main goal, my sole purpose, and now…I’m not sure, but work is becoming too much. Even a burden at times.

I’ve never had any longing for social activities. The few interests I have outside of the work of an engineer, I’ve mainly indulged in alone. Listening to music, for instance. I preferred my solitude when listening to my favorite recordings or attending concerts. Now, as I put on some music after a shift, it seems to emphasize my loneliness rather than fill it.

When I get home to my quarters, as much as they are a sanctuary, they’re proof of where my chosen isolation has brought me. After spending a lot of time at Briar’s quarters, sometimes with Korrian and Meija as well, I recognize how different my life is becoming. She and Caya share a bond so very different from mine with my own family members. Briar is clearly very protective of her younger sister, but never have I heard her resort to emotional blackmail or indirect threats as a way to get her point across. Instead they reason with each other, and many times, Caya comes to the conclusion I know Briar is trying to convey all by herself.

I’m not proud to admit it, but I’m envious of their connection, as I’ve never experienced it, unless you count my interactions with my comrades in arms. With my subordinates and my peers, I enjoy respect and, in some cases, also friendship and loyalty. Why this was never been the case with my family, and later, with potential lovers, saddens me.

I suppose this might be why Briar has a shield up when it comes to me. Her gift for caring and this amazing aptitude for empathy…even a recluse such as I feels what I’ve come to think of as her personal force field. Caya is more immediate and seems to regard me as something between an older friend and a sister. She asks me questions, so many at times, Briar steps in to stop her. I don’t mind the questions, but a lot of them are about the Vantressa clan. I try to be honest without giving away too much, as miraculously Caya has been accepted as what Shabina deems a “foreign friend” to Mathro and the other young among the Vantressas. I thought of preventing Caya from getting tangled up with my family, but I know that Caya was homeschooled by traditionalist parents and thus missed out on what goes for a normal social life. She seems truly happy among my relatives, and I could never begrudge her that. If the usual warning signs appear I’ll find a way to get her away from them. My standing weekly dinner invitation makes it easier to monitor the situation.

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